Should I Date An Ex Criminal? | MadameNoire
Not only was he a known criminal in his old neighborhood, but he even served time in prison. I never saw myself as dating someone who has. Prison Fellowship's reentry program counselors have identified three relationship in a positive way if they've never been in a healthy relationship before. would not normally choose to date someone in prison or who just got out of prison. I assumed that the only guys who would date me would be those with their Since I was released from prison three years ago, I have received.
It seems ridiculous to have to state this but I wanted to be clear.
As we knowthese numbers can be attributed to any number of soci-economic factors including the fact that African Americans are treated differently by the legal system for the same crimes and behaviors. Here are 7 factors to consider about whether to date someone with a criminal record.
You deserve to have someone in your life who makes your life better, not worse. What was the crime committed?
Did your potential boyfriend jaywalk and then talk back to a police officer, earning him a night in the jail? These are two drastically different situations, each revealing different character traits. Find out exactly what the crime was before rushing to judgment. Why would you subject yourself or your family to this kind of stress? Remember, rule number one is always that you deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship.
Dating a Man Who Just Got out of Prison
Everyone has character blemishes. Is the crime indicative of who they are now or who they were?
How much time was served in prison? Prison rarely rehabilitates anyone. Most people in jail only learn how to become better criminals. Again, there is a big difference between someone spending the night in prison and a hardened criminal who just came home from a fifteen-year stint in the slammer. If it is the latter, I would probably advise you to run.
Does he regret what happened or does he feel bad that he got caught? Evolved adults take responsibility for their lives and their actions.
‘Help! Should I Date an Ex-Con?’ Advice Guide for Dating Former Criminals
Does this person have a victim mentality or own up to the fact that he committed a crime? Has this person worked on removing the belief system that made them commit the crime to begin with?
For example, anyone with a history of violence against women will continue with these issues in different forms unless receiving some sort of treatment.
- Provide Security and Comfort
- Patience Is Important
- 12 Tips To Dating A Prisoner
Again, prison alone should not be considered as a source of rehabilitation. No one should ever humiliate or belittle you.
Advice for Dating Men in Jail
We all have the ability to rise and shine but the best predictor of past behavior is often future behavior UNLESS a person takes action to interrupt patterns of behavior. What is the current legal fallout from the situation? So, where is he now regarding the case? Is he out on bail?
Does he need to check in with a parole officer? You can explain the situation. And then, you have to let them be who they are.
You will have lots of choices after you tell them, depending on what their reactions are. But first things first. If you expect them to not judge him and to be supportive of your decision to marry him, YOU are the one with unrealistic expectations. So take responsibility for your own decisions. There are people who do go to jail wrongly.
There are people who mess up, go to jail, and become rehabilitated. There are people who make mistakes and then go on to live perfectly productive lives. How hard was it to not violate his probation? How important was it to him not to violate probation?
Is this his first offense? How many times has he been arrested?
Is this a pattern? Is this behavior of getting arrested normal among his family?