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If completely discreet and the spouse never finds out, might it be a perfectly acceptable behaviour?
Does the English response to adultery need to reflect a more European stance? Well, I'm of the opinion, call me old fashioned if you will, that morals play an important role in our behaviour and no matter what opportunity may present itself you can still believe in the sanctity of marriage.
I think an open marriage is totally different. If two people, married to each other agree to extra marital relations then this is just consenting adults doing what they think is the best for them.
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However, when I consider the cuckolded spouse I am conscious of the lies and deceit that are part of the turf of this type of behaviour which in turn destroys trust, the bedrock of any meaningful relationship. It may not be possible to remain with one person for life, but might it be possible to learn to navigate marital difficulties openly and honestly and if necessary, split up. It seems to me that the betraying spouse is keeping all their options open at the expense of their spouse who has no control over what is happening because they have not been told the truth.
Equally, what about the suspicions that the betrayed spouse feels?
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When confronted with these doubts does the unfaithful spouse just deny them. This all seems so wrong. Rather than new rules, perhaps what is required is simply a more laissez faire view of what being married means but both partners need to share the view.
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