In love with best friend but she just started dating someone else. Any advice? - guyQ by AskMen
It happens all of the time: you meet a girl who is perfect for you, only to find out that good and acting cool, you also don't want to pretend to be someone else. Women say all their lives how they want a man to fall madly in love with them But she can't give her whole self to you, if she's involved with someone else. Filed Under: Sex & Relationships Tagged With: cheating, dating. There is this girl I have known for 8 years and pretty much always had feelings for her and never acted on them and then she disappeared for a.
At first, she was evasive and wanted to talk about maybe doing something after my business trip the week after. For the past 2 weeks, her and I have hardly texted, and I was out of the office for 2 weeks, so I couldn't see her in person. When I came back this week, she talked to me like nothing happened. We talked here and there, and things seemed kinda normal. On Thursday, she came into my office, we chatted for a bit and then she wrote her name a bunch of times on a piece of paper with a bunch of hearts and gave it to me, saying that I should keep it.
I had kept some other stuff she gave me and she knew about it. Then, yesterday, I asked why she looked bummed out. She told me that she got into a fight with someone that she had just started "kind of" dating.
Of course, I was shocked and asked her why she never told me, and that explained why she went so silent all of a sudden. I told her that I made it pretty clear I wanted to get to know her, and that she had mentioned the same indirectly. She told me that she didn't feel it was necessary to tell me, and that she didn't know that I felt that way towards her.
But your abundance mentality is part of a bigger picture. You need to put yourself first when wooing anyone, especially a girl who already has a boyfriend. In practice, that means having time for her only when you actually have time for her. The best and most attractive thing you can offer her right now is your strength and independence from her situation. Running every time she says she needs you to erode that strength and independence.
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But you can always do a little more to deepen the connection you already have and push it toward romantic love. That, more than anything, will give her a compelling reason to be with you. One powerful way to be there for her while simultaneously creating attraction is to make her laugh. You just have to show her a good time. At the same time, she might not be getting a lot of interest in her at home.
One hallmark of bad relationships is that one or both parties start feeling unappreciated. She might have totally forgotten what it feels like to have a man want her. Making her feel appreciated and desired might be the emotional step you need to spark romance between the two of you. If this is the case, play to your strength in having more in common with her — not superficially, but emotionally, intellectually and creatively. Sometimes, especially in long-term relationships, one partner can become disinterested or out of step with the passions of the other person.
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Once your emotional and intellectual chemistry is developed, you must find a way to express your physical interest in her. You run the risk of being the shoulder she cries on when her relationship is bad, or just an escape from her bad relationship, without a physical component. It also allows you to test her interest in you, and to slowly, respectfully, move the boundaries of your existing relationship forward.
If she reciprocates, then an attraction is almost certainly developing between you. In short, getting a woman in a relationship to fall for you is very difficult, complex and far from guaranteed.
Now you just need to shift that a little bit and the two of you can have something even more than friends. Whatever you choose, continually return to the why.
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Afew weeks ago she admitted she has been really depressed since she came back and her friends got her into drinking again and she has been drinking a lot due to be depressed.
She also admitted while looking for a job she was so stressed she could not sleep. Which makes me worried she is not thinking straight. She also puts way too much stock in instant connections. She is an it religious and believe they are signs from God.
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When in reality it was probably some dude who is good at smooth talking. The other problem is I know who this guy is and he is an alcoholic, drug using jerk but since she is in the honeymoon stage right now she does not know this.
I also know they have very different views on topics such as sex.