LOVE you! older man marrying younger woman Lucinda Franks reflects on 30 years of marriage with a man 30 years older. At age 58, Bob Morgenthau was some three decades older than I was, and back in the s. From my 40something perspective, a 50 something isn't terribly older than I am and I can say that men of all ages have been known to sing. And, yes, I know some younger men date older women. that married women were years younger than married men in the United States.
Traditionally, it has not just been customary but also advisable for girls to marry men who were a few years older - maybe by two to five years. There are biological as well as psychological reasons for this.
For instance, girls enter puberty sooner, their bodies are ready to have children earlier, and they only remain fertile for a limited time period. Psychologically, they reach emotional maturity much sooner than men.
In fact, statistics prove that, on average, American men marry younger women. Pratt, Gracia Edwards and Gert Stulp, revealed that married women were 4.
Would you date someone who is 30 years OLDER?
According to the same study, successful men featured on the Forbes list married women seven years younger. In fact, the numbers get more interesting. When these super-rich men remarried, their subsequent partner was substantially younger, years younger on average. That's the kind of gap I am talking about. Financial gain seems to be the obvious answer, so I will get it out of the way straightaway.
Girls get a head-start by marrying older men, as it affords them a similar or better lifestyle than they were used to while living with their parents. After all, their parents would have secured a commendable standard of living in their middle age, and the girl would like to ensure that she gets similar comforts when she marries.
If she were to marry a man the same age or slightly younger, they both would be starting out together and would lead a life of struggle initially—at least before they can plant their feet firmly in their respective careers.
Would you date someone who is 30 years OLDER? - guyQ by AskMen
So, such an affair results in financial security. There are other, more complex psychological reasons. As they say, a girl marries a guy that reminds her of her father.
Girls are used to their father's protection and care. Such a caring and loving attitude is usually found in older men. Men her age typically though not necessarily are as mature or even less mature than herself and are not yet ready to take on the responsibility of a partner. Girls want to grow up fast, and they feel all grown up with an older man who socializes with others his age.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man | PairedLife
Finally, it is easier for younger girls to relate to them. In their early twenties, young girls are still trying to come to terms with their identity. They are still dealing with their emotions. They need a strong anchor, and a mature man can provide that emotional stability. What's Causing This Trend? Online dating sites have made it easier for women to find men of all varieties—single, divorced, rich, and even married men. In fact, many are full of married men pretending to be single or divorced.
Because such websites attract more men than women, they often offer women incentives such as free registration and discretion. All of this makes it easier for younger women to meet and date younger men. What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man You must consider the following differences before marrying or even getting into a relationship with an older man.
He will be less vigorous than your younger self. His emotional needs will differ from yours simply because he is in a different stage of life. Navigating between the various social circles, including family and friends, can be challenging. Because of this, I believe it is a terrible idea for young girls to fall in love with older men.
Why It's a Bad Idea Finally, let's get into some of the problems that a couple may face when the guy is much older. To get an idea of the possible challenges, you only have to read the experiences of women who have married old men. These tragic stories are all over the internet. So, I will be very blunt in the list below. If you are having an affair with such a man, physical compatibility could be an issue.
Young lives up to his name and has more energy and drive than most people — he often jokes that my maturity and his immaturity mean we meet somewhere in the middle and are just like an ordinary couple in their 40s. I'm not sure that's quite accurate, we are a good balance in terms of our personalities and bring out the best in each other. Once we were both fully committed to the relationship, we decided we might as well really go for it and pack as much into our lives together as possible.
Almost exactly a year after we started dating, Young whisked me off to Paris for a long weekend. In that sense, the emotional ups and downs of our relationship are much like those of any other couple.
We were both very strong, independent people with interesting things going on in our lives. When Young met my mother for the first time, less than a year earlier, he told her we were having fun but that there would be "no cottage, no marriage, and certainly no babies".
It felt as if we had come a very long way, very quickly. Our post-engagement anxiety was short-lived and seven months later, friends and family surrounded us for our wedding day. It really was the happiest day of my life. My father, who is relieved to be older than my husband, if only by six months, gave a moving speech, noting that even before I'd told him about Young he knew there was someone special in my life because every time we spoke on the phone I had "bubbles in my voice".
I was surprised on the day to realise that I had no nerves, just a calm feeling that this was absolutely the right thing. When Young began his vows, we locked eyes and the only way I got through mine without wobbling was by holding his gaze. We had only changed the chaplain's suggested wording in one way — instead of "Until death do us part" we said "For as long as we both shall live".
We were determined that our marriage should reflect our general attitude towards life, and we wanted to emphasise the positives. Our son, Tom, arrived around 18 months later and having a child has made our "live for the moment" philosophy even more pertinent. I'll say it so you don't have to — my husband is probably going to die while our son is still pretty young.
Although knowing him as I do, I wouldn't put money on that. His current stance is that he would be happy if he lived to 95, which is another 33 years. I'm holding out for Again, we knew that having a child was an enormous decision, and we talked about it endlessly, making sure that we were doing it for the right reasons and not purely selfish ones.
We knew we could provide a safe, happy and loving home for a baby, but how would we work things out financially in the future, given the different stages we were at in our careers? How would our child cope if his daddy's health declined? How would I manage if I ended up being a carer for my child and husband? What if he or she were bullied at school because dad looked like grandpa? There were many questions we couldn't answer definitively, but in the end we had to trust our instincts.
There are no guarantees, whatever your age.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man
We know very well that couples the same age, who look like a perfect match on paper, can't always make things work when they have children.
Neither Young nor I had a particularly straightforward childhood and, perhaps because of that, we are convinced that having an awesome father around, even for a short while, is vastly preferable to having an uninvolved or uncaring father around for life. My two boys love each other so dearly and when I was struggling in the early days of motherhood, it was seeing their love for each other that helped me come to terms with our new life.