Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style | HuffPost Life
Dating a pal's ex-partner can put strain on the closest friendships, but is it worth the risk, asks Danae Mercer. Is dating a friend's ex always the backstabbing and thoughtless move "Talk about a disaster—not only did I lose a good girlfriend over it, the. So you're dating a guy, let's call him Smeorge Shlooney, and everything it seems like every time you call him, he's out walking his ex-girlfriend's dog. If they're still friends, and he wants to attend, there's probably no cause.
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The world is divided into two groups of people: When you and your friend are both in the "OK" camp, it can work if they date your ex, or you theirs. When you and your friend are both in the "off-limits" camp, it's great -- it simply doesn't happen, because you both agree it's not a good move.
However, when you're in different camps, and a friend dates your ex or vice versathis can lead to big trouble -- anything from awkward social interactions to permanent rifts within groups of friends.
While many would say the ideal solution is to avoid run-ins completely, in many cases it's just not possible, especially when there are overlapping friends, locations, and events. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to be prepared. Of course, there are varying degrees of gravity -- a former fling may be less of a big deal than a serious relationship, and if we're talking about a recent ex-husband or ex-wife and your friend, well, then, we'll go out on a limb and say that perhaps you should reconsider your friendship unless there is an extremely unique circumstance.
If you've found yourself facing this situation as the person whose friend and ex are now dating, here are a few tips on how to handle yourself with style and grace: Have a support system handy: It's nice to ask one or two close friends to help you out. They can keep you posted on what they see and hear about this new relationship, as it's never fun to be the last to know.
Keeping your thoughts limited to this tightly knit circle will also prevent you from blabbering your opinion about the new couple to everyone. Don't overcompensate with fake happiness: You don't have to pretend to like what's happening, so don't overdo it with sappy sweet congrats and good wishes If you get caught in a confrontation, just smile, have a pre-planned friendly sentence or two to recite, keep it short and sweet, and move on.
You probably don't want to get any closer to the action than you need to, so when you're stuck in the same social scene, take the seat at the opposite end of the table, or strike up a conversation with the cute guy or girl at the other end of the bar. Until you're comfortable with the situation, it's best to avoid confrontation -- it can only make you upset and say or do something you may regret.
Those girls you used to intertwine your legs with at night and share your bed with.
Explain a time when dating your best friend's ex-girlfriend is ok. : AskMen
The women who used to have their fingers ruffled in your hair and their lips on yours as they told you how they felt, and you told them how you felt. They are not your friends when they message you at 3 AM knowing that you have a new girlfriend, or when they ask to borrow money and to stay at your place. When they lie about having something horrific happen just to have alone time with you, they are not your friends. Keeping in contact with your exes is not called having friends, it is called emotional cheating and it can be more hurtful to your new partner than sexual cheating.
A girl falls for a guy, yada-yada-yada, they move in together. Throughout the relationship, every argument has involved a woman, who the guy would call a friend, who had previously been intimate with him.
Only Fuckboys Stay Friends With Their Ex
Every one of these women disrespected, jeopardized, and attempted to seduce him. Notice the sun to the galaxy of exes: He has an ex as his emergency contact. We all know the type. He might start actually seeing a girl while seeing another girl.
He will stay with the one who has low enough self-esteem to stay and little enough of a mind to go after finding out that she is one of at least two. He gives them not just his penis, but his heart, and that is what makes the infidelity that much worse. Your boyfriend is pursuing other women, women he never stopped pursuing. Emotional cheating is falling in love, being in love, and loving people romantically or intimately besides your partner. He will update his Tinder account one month into moving in with a girl stupid enough to trust him.
The wifey girl cries, gets upset, but he does not stop messaging the woman who pressed up on him outside of a concert and gave him years of memories. The fuckboy boyfriend is a rare breed. He craves actual intimacy and love. The fuckboy boyfriend comes with a lifelong warranty. No matter who he is with, how much they love him, he will still be your boyfriend even after you broke up.
Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style
You can rely on him. The fact that his girlfriend hates you makes the disrespecting of their relationship that much hotter. He calls you a friend to her face, and tells you how much he wants you behind her back. Most women see the red flags, the serious attachment issues, and run.