21 year old dating a 17 year old, wrong? - The Student Room
So for a year old, the upper age limit would be 34 (i.e., 17 * 2). . The rule states that it is acceptable for year old women to date men who are up to 46 you'll be 28 and this person will be 22, above your new threshold of 21 (14+7). man but he is attracted to that early 20's girl with a cute smile, firm boobs and ass. At first, dating a year-old guy made year-old Sarah Dessen Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the. Thus, sexual relations between two year-olds would be illegal, while the same relationship between a year-old and a year old.
All the while I would be as nice as I could without feeling like I was leading her on, letting her think there was something more there. The last two weeks though I've been spending more time with her, I had lunch with her five times in the last two weeks at the deli where she works for my motherand I've come to the decision that I want to ask her out. I'm very wary of her age though. From what I can tell in Az the age of consent is 18 wikibut that would only apply if we were having sex.
You may not think this to be the truth, but I wouldn't let that happen, in the very, very rare chance that it came up. What I've decided to do is ask her out, but tell her I want to talk to one of her parents they are devoiced, and her dad is a cop and make sure they are alright with us dating, if not it would stop right there.
For what it's worth her age does bother me, not that she's immature or I think she's a child, she's not. She's very mature graduated early from high school and going to be starting collage in fall ' It's more the number then anything else that gets me. My friends who are closer to the situation, as well as my mother are all in favor of me asking her out, but I wanted some unbiased opinions. You're taking major chances even if you don't end up in bed together.
You ask for opinions, so here's mine: Treat this babe like kryptonite. Handle only with lead-lined gloves, and stay the hell away from her. Den Beste at Many people will think less of you and her if you persue this. They probably already do. Her dad being a cop just makes the situation all the more absurd. You'll get crap from other people if the age discrepancy is apparent, but from the sound of it, it isn't. Take her up on some of those invitations to dinner, so you meet the parents.
Make a good impression.
I was dating a 17 year old at 21, everyone throught it was great, no-one outside of the few of us even realised there was an age difference. Forget the taboo factor, her daddy's a cop. You could be as gentlemanly as is humanly possible, and he could still ruin your life. Any daddy can claim a false statutory rape, but a cop is going to have a better chance of making it stick. That would give you a criminal record featuring sex with a minor.
Furthermore, there's a slim chance you'd wind up on the Sex Offender Registry. Be kind to her, of course - she may be a "very mature" 16, but she's still None of the logic behind this may matter to her. If this is love, true and deep, waiting a few years is nothing. Consider it a test of the heart. That way, once she's 18, you'll be much more free to do as you please. See what she says. Once she knows your interested, assuming she wants it to happen, then she might be your best ally in presenting it to her parents.
Perhaps "dad, I'd like to date this friend of mine" might work better than "Mr XYZ, I'd like to date your underage daughter". I don't know, just throwing something out. But I think it depends though on the state though in terms of a sexual relationship do your homework if you become romantically involved posted by DudeAsInCool at Reading Jilder's comment - yeah - make sure you're comfortable with the parents as well as they you.
Think "what could happen if I break her heart". Right now you'd be a twenty one year old guy dating a girl in high school -- doesn't matter how you dress that up, it still comes out looking really really bad. C'est la vie in your particular jurisdiction. As others have said, you could pursue a friendship and bide your time before getting romantically involved, but be prepared for some tests of character.
Why are teens in Arizona assumed to be less mature than teens in Ohio? It doesn't make any sense. Besides, social conventions and practices are not necessarily tied to the legal age of consent. Relationships with such age differences happen all the time, it depends on the individuals. But, you're thinking of asking permission of the parents, and you're thinking of avoiding sex - that's two complications you don't need at If she already has such a crush on you, how are you going to deal with dating without getting sexual?
What if she wants to? You're going to be leading her on that way.
You can't date her and then suddenly turn all "oh no no you're only 16" when sex comes up, and oh it will come up, don't delude yourself. If you're going to treat her like a child then do it from the start and just don't start anything. A relationship has to be on equal terms at any age. Socially--when I was in high school, there were year-olds dating men ten years their senior legally over the age of consent in that state.
I've seen the same thing now and then since, especially when I've been in work environments with a lot of younger folk. In general, other teenagers think it's cool that you're so openminded, that she could impress an older guy, and are cool with the idea in general.
Most adults think it's creepy, and no amount of justification or rationalization can change their minds, even if upon meeting the sixteen-year-old the adult in question would guess her to be much older.
Whether it's "acceptable" depends on your community, but for dating a teenager not to hurt you at all socially, you'd have to hang out in either a very open-minded social group, or a very young one. Seriously, I would not touch this with the proverbial ten-foot pole.
Right over there, other side of the tall grass, in front of the mall! I later found out about her age and decided that I shouldn't do anything about it. There's a chance you actually won't do that. You know who cares? Not your neighbors in twenty years when they find out they live next to a sex offender. You can't prove you didn't have sex.
21 year old guy dating 17 year old girl?
Maybe she can't prove you did, but recent high-profile cases indicate she probably won't have to. IMHO, that and the sex offender registry for "crimes" like this is a complete bullshit way of operating a justice system -- but, such is the system as it stands. Know that going in. If you lived in another state, where the age was 16, my advice might be different.
But in today's legal climate, the advice to stay far away could not be made strongly enough. And I got that, some of you are saying do it, but even with the support it still just doesn't seem right for some reason. I like to think of myself as having a more logical thought process then an average person so this whole thing has been driving me bonkers trying to figure out. You all make very good, and valid points, but I think pleeker and twistofrhyme bring it home, I know I could keep from bringing sex up, but if she wanted it I don't know if I could stop it, and therein is the biggest rub I guess.
My biggest concern is and should be her, I don't want to hurt her or make her fear relationships at such an important time in her life for relationships. As such I think I should just steer clear. It's a teenage girl thing. They don't want to be kids anymore, they want to be seen as mature by their friends and family. She probably looks like an adult, and acts like an adult, but upstairs, she's still a kid. And her dad's a cop. Like someone said, there's a reason they're called Jailbait.
To be frank, you might want to consider where you are psychologically that are you are even interested in this girl. Arizona sex offenders are routinely placed on lifetime probation, and have a lot of restrictions and invasions in their lives as long as they remain on it.
21 and 16 year olds dating, is it okay? - relationships taboo underage | Ask MetaFilter
It's not just possible, but probable, that it's not really you she likes, but the simple fact that a year-old man is paying even the smallest bit of attention to her. Teenagers get very bored very easily. These relationships rarely work in the long run. There are exceptions, of course, but in my opinion, even if you're totally in love with her, this is a very, very bad idea.
I feel like I had plenty of self-confidence and positive sexual awareness at that age, but I remember being attracted to other people in their mid-teens rather than older people.
I can't begin to read her mind any more than the rest of the people in this thread canbut just from what you're saying, it sounds like she's not even necessarily expressing sexual interest in you. Beyond your own attraction to her, you're also being forced to think of this in sexual or potentially-sexual terms by a few other factors the laws, the fact that her dad's a cop. I think the best thing you could do is stay her friend and give her your support and advice as she navigates the landscape of relationships and sex in college.
I think it's really sad that some people in this thread are saying you can't be her platonic friend and should drop all interaction with her. But I do think you need to consider your relationship carefully and communicate with her VERY clearly from now on.
I think men have an easy time picking up younger women. Younger women, in my experience, want to learn everything that a more mature man can teach them.
In the teens, a single year makes a big difference in terms of maturity. You've gone through the experiences of living on your own, finding work, and supporting yourself financially and emotionally.
A year-old still has Mommy and Daddy's support to fall back on if anything should go wrong. You're well beyond that point-- do you want to have to sneak your girlfriend out of her parent's house to stay out late?
Want to take her to get drunk with your friends? You're at different stages of life; its not to say that you can't love her or share an emotional bond, but I think it will be a fragile bond due to the difference in maturity and the barriers created by the law and social norms.
She's probably enamored with you because you have so much more experience than her, which I entirely understand. But at some point, you'll want someone who understands your experiences and can teach you a thing or two.
Its easy for older guys to pick up younger women-- but I'm not sure if they satisfy our needs. I mean it - do not EVER let yourself be in any situation where the two of you are alone - without witnesses - in a social setting. For her protection, and for yours. No matter how honorable your intentions or hersthere may be other people who may try to turn any opportunity into a chance to "get" you.
Whatever you do together, do it in public - go to the zoo, concerts, parks, etc. In your case 0. Sorry, looks like you have to wait till you're 23 and she's Yeah, I know it's not a real rule but it does have a certain intuitive appeal. B On the other hand if you can keep it non-nude for a couple of years, then that's ok too ; posted by singingfish at 5: There is really no upside to having this relationship at this point.
Arizona society has issued its opinion on the issue, wrong or not. You can fight City Hall on this concept, and maybe win, but it still means a fight. Fights are costly and since the 'other guy' is much bigger, your chances are slim to none in prevailing.
Its wiser to avoid a fight. What's truly remarkable about Mr. Blackout, is that you are doing it in advance! This will come in handy over the next few decades. Congratulations on making a good choice and taking care of both of you.
Are you freaking serious? When true love knocked on my door, she'd just barely turned sixteen; And I was a little bit nervous, if you know just what I mean.
But I heard somewhere that true love conquers all, and figured that was that, then I started havin' dreams 'bout bein' chased out of town wearin' nothing but my cowboy hat.
I said, "No deal We did not actually have sex, though it was very difficult. In the end, despite that she was very mature for fifteen, the age difference wound up being a problem.
This is a distinct possibility that complicates things further. Shame about the law, but there it is. A friend of mine dated a girl that was under 18 in Phoenix, AZ. He was probably 19 or This was a few years back, so I don't remember exact age.
Either she would depart your house in unpleasant circumstances or you'd force an admission which you would still be powerless to act on.
You say that it is her lying to you that's responsible for the barrier between you, but I'd hazard a guess that your controlling, judgmental tendencies may also have something to do with it. Not to mention the effect of a nagging concern that your divorce may have been a contributing factor to her relationship choice.
I understand and sympathise. It's not the relationship you would want your young daughter to be having, but if you want to improve your own dealings with her, you're going to have to start showing an interest in her point of view. If she is having an affair with this older guy, it's unlikely to be coincidence that it began within a year of her parents' separation. She may well feel utterly rejected by her father and therefore have found what to her seems an ideal replacement.
I presume that this is something you've given some thought to? At an insecure period in her life, around the time she was finishing school, another cataclysmic event took place when you and her father decided to separate.
I'm not blaming this on the demise of your marriage - a sad scenario that many people face - merely suggesting that there may be a connection between the departure of her father and her embrace of a father figure. It will also have contributed to her feelings of low self-esteem, which also explains why she is lingering at home despite the fractious relationship with you. Her feelings of low self-worth will only be exacerbated by your antagonistic approach to her relationship.
What incentive is there to confide in you when she already knows that you disapprove wholeheartedly and want to force her to end the affair? Applying a less judgmental and more sympathetic approach would go a long way to achieving your goal. I suggest you gently encourage her to open up by beginning conversations about unrelated matters, in the long run letting her make a positive choice to disclose rather than confessing as the result of coercion.
You'll need an understanding ear and a large dollop of patience. It may take time but, quite honestly, it's the only way to move this situation forward. Your daughter will not end the affair just because you disapprove. You can be sure that this affair certainly won't last.
Make it your goal to become her shoulder to cry on by the time it reaches its inevitable conclusion.