Valentine''ll be willing to share. As the relationship continues, discuss more serious, big-picture topics.
5. Get his adrenaline pumping.
If you want to make him fall for you, take him on a roller coaster. It may not be that simple, but Fanelli says adrenaline is sometimes misattributed to arousal.
“Excitement generates a level of attractiveness,” Fanelli says. “People who experience similar arousal find each other more attractive.”
Fanelli says you don’t need to go on a bungee-jumping date to make this happen though. “Any experience that generates excitement can be arousing.”
In one study, for example, males interacted with females on either a high-suspension bridge or on level ground. They were more sexually aroused by the females on the bridge, indicating that they misattributed the feelings of physical arousal being on the high bridge, with an attraction to the female.
“People who experience similar arousal find each other more attractive,” Fanelli explains.
How to make it work:
It could be as simple as a competitive board game, Fanelli says, or a pick-up game of basketball. “Watching a scary movie could even be arousing and enhance levels of attraction,” he adds. Do things that are exciting. Take a run together, play Monopoly, or watch a thriller like Black Swan or Source Code.
6. Make him a cuddle fan.
index22 ☑how to index22 for When you first fall for him, he’s usually all you can think about. Fanelli says this is part of the early ‘lust’ experience of attraction.
“It’s the release of dopamine and endorphins in your brain,” he says. “It’s a cocaine-kind of rush – part of a chemical reaction.”
This gives us almost an obsession with the other person, where you’re always thinking about them, and wishing to be with them. This chemical rush can’t last for long, though.
How to make it work:
index22 ☑how to index22 for “After about two months, other reactions take place,” Fanelli says. These are less lust-based and more comfort-based. Cuddling is one way to keep the chemicals flowing, which Fanelli says, makes you for 1 last update 2020/05/30 feel warm in the closeness of that other person. The chemical oxytocin is released during cuddling, which brings feelings of attraction. Pop in a movie and get your cuddle on!“After about two months, other reactions take place,” Fanelli says. These are less lust-based and more comfort-based. Cuddling is one way to keep the chemicals flowing, which Fanelli says, makes you feel warm in the closeness of that other person. The chemical oxytocin is released during cuddling, which brings feelings of attraction. Pop in a movie and get your cuddle on!
7. Fanelli’s attraction formula: Find your own happiness.
Fanelli says that ultimately, attraction comes down to the fact that interesting people are interesting to be for 1 last update 2020/05/30 with.Fanelli says that ultimately, attraction comes down to the fact that interesting people are interesting to be with.
“Rather than spending your time trying to lure him in, remember that people who are comfortable with themselves are interesting because they’re doing things that make them happy,” he says, “and that’s very attractive.”
When you’re doing something that ‘turns you on’ (whether it’s playing music or playing sports), “that is a turn on to other people,” Fanelli says.
Before you worry about attracting him, make sure you find yourself attractive. “Be yourself, and do things that make you happy,” Fanelli says.
Dr. Joe Fanelli, Love, Lust, and Relationships professor, Syracuse University
Some Evidence for Heightened Sexual Attraction Under Conditions of High Anxiety
Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship
Proximity and Peership: Bases of Balance in Interpersonal Attraction
The Courtship Dance: Patterns of Nonverbal Synchronization in Opposite-Sex Encounters
Personalistic Self-Disclosure and Attraction: Basis for Relationship or Scare Resource