10 Realities Of Being Married To A Police Officer | HuffPost Life
Story Highlights; Woman shouldn't expect to come first with man with kids, she says I dated The Cop off and on for about six years and I have to admit that So this brings me to my first point, if you date a man with children. Dating a cop can have many benefits. P.S. Hang around them long enough, and hear the stories they tell about the things they see, and you. Meet single police officers on the lookout for a new romance. Whether you're in uniform or want to meet someone who is, sign up to UniformDating today!.
Its hard, but the call-outs outside of rostered hours are part of the job and you need to expect them and get used to parenting alone. His job involves putting others needs ahead of yours. You will most likely be the parent to attend school concerts, sports matches, school assembly's etc.
Believe me, he would rather be at these events than where he is too!! Trust me, that planned weekend sleep-in that you have had marked on the calendar for the past month will ALWAYS come after a 2 a.
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He will get a call-out to your neighboring town just minutes before you head out the door as a family. Christmas is a tough one.
Usually they are rostered on for at least a few hours during the day, but your day can be planned and executed successfully and callouts are rare. However, our last Christmas, Mr. Point Five worked and was away unexpectedly from 8am Christmas Eve 'til 5. Christmas night; the kids and I were devastated and it was not my finest moment as a police wife as tears were shed. The last thing our spouses need after an unexpected callout on what should be a joyous day for them also is to come home to a resentful spouse.
Remember, they are disappointed too. With respect to point 1. Regardless of his roster, I prepare dinner for the entire family at 5pm every night. If he isn't home then his gets wrapped. The boys go to bed at p. We do this because even if your police spouse SAYS they will be home, you cannot rely on it.
10 Realities Of Being Married To A Police Officer
Often I get a text when he is already late saying he will be home in 30 minutes and three hours later we still haven't seen him. Have a routine and stick to it because his job is anything but routine. Don't be tempted to stretch out dinner or the kids bedtime on a say-so text ; 4.
Resign yourself to the fact that you will not be holidaying when other families do. If you used to go away for the Easter four day weekend, remember the last one fondly.
Easter is the busiest time of the year for our Boys and Girls in Blue and it is all hands on deck. We barely see Mr. Point Five at Easter and much to hubby's disappointment as he pointed it out this year the kids and I have decorated our Easter Tree each year on our own. Once again, it is really hard to harbor the resentfulness as you see pictures flooding your Facebook newsfeed of family camping trips and backyard cricket.
Suck it up and make the most of the four days alone with the kids or go away yourself with the kids and create your own fun with another family. Australia Day weekend is another one you will be spending sans spouse. Get used to it and plan ahead to get out and create your own fun.
These Are The Best And Worst Parts Of Dating Someone In Law Enforcement
New Year's Eves will never be the same either. Oh, and the last one here he was on day shift so that was good; we were in bed by Try to wrap your head around the fact that even when your spouse is not on rostered duty, they are always mentally on duty. Being a police officer is not a job; it's a lifestyle choice. They are not general public any longer. They must carry their police ID at all times and be expected to respond to public situations as a police officer, and not stand by and watch with no obligation.
This results in a general enhanced awareness of their situation at all times. We try and get to the pub on a Friday night to give me a break from cooking and socialize with the townfolk a little. Point Five constantly monitoring his surroundings, watching who comes in the pub door, assessing the risks, and weighing up various options, all subconsciously.
The books call it hyper-vigilance -- they are so used to having to be mentally and physically prepared for every possible scenario during their work hours in order to possibly preserve the lives of the public and their own, that it is impossible to switch off.
It becomes part of their psyche. Watch for it, know why they may be distracted and accommodate it. Even when it is subconscious, the constant mental and physical state of flight or fight is exhausting for them; to be under constant public scrutiny. Try to create a peaceful home for them to unwind in. It is really hard to go straight from being a police officer to being fun Daddy, but if we give him some space when he gets home, it happens. This happens frequently if you live in a small town.
There have been a few times where Mr. Point Five has suddenly ditched us at the shops and we find him a few stores down, or when we were having a family day at our town swimming pool where we have staged it with him having left suddenly. These things happen and it is for the safety of his family that he does it.
He doesn't want the scumbags knowing who is family is and then perhaps targeting us next time we are at the shops without him as our protection. Maybe have a chat about the possibility of this happening and have a back-up plan such as a meet place in the shops or calling each other on the mobile.
I try very hard to monitor what I say on public social media with regard to any polarizing opinions I may have, as people may assume my opinion as his.
Police officers must be impartial in their dealings with the public and I would loathe for anything I say on social media to come back and bite him on the arse. My private social media is my own space to be me, but even then I try to be cautious stop laughing, people who know me, I DO try! The example I gave of my behavior affecting him in one of my earlier policewifelife posts is about six months after Mr. Point Five and I had met. It beat me up mentally. When I couldn't take it anymore, I walked.
I don't know about all other police officers, but this one was a complete mental case who told me that he wanted to be with God while he waved his gun at me. I considered writing a letter to his chief, but in this particular police department, they protect their own.
More than half of them have a woman on the side. I know, I've met them. I wrote my mother a note right after Stacy Peterson disappeared.
I wrote, "Dear Ma, if I ever disappear, please look at him first. He doesn't know where I currently live, but when you're a cop, you can find out anything. I dated a cop. Before he was a cop, he was a Marine, which is very common. He cheated on me. What makes this even funnier is that my mother was married to a cop long before I was born, and he cheated on her.
She warned me about it, but I didn't listen. I will never date another cop. They're completely impervious to the laws of society, morality and common sense. I married a cop. He's a loving husband, an amazing person and a good cop. Being a cop means he has a dependable income that allows him to retire early with a solid pension.
And he has a set of handcuffs that makes things at home very interesting every now and again. Send your tale, along with your relationship questions and problems to cheryllavin aol.